It was midnight on a Saturday and I was sprawled in bed with The Kr8z and a box of Gingersnaps. After working a long but fulfilling day that started at 7:30 a.m. I had the mental capacity of an amoeba. I watched the last ½ hour of Erin Brockovich and a tear slid down my cheek during the denouement. I don’t know if this lone tear was from exhaustion or the story of this powerful kick-ass woman. Either way I was touched. And then, the energy of the airwaves went ballistic.
I couldn’t find the remote (I think So-kr8z must have been sleeping on it as he’s wont to do) so I was torn asunder from my sentimentality and watched in utter horror as a show called Wife-Swap came on. *Show of hands* — Have y’all ever watched this show? Wow. I felt like I was watching a platypus give birth to a micro piglet in a tub filled with orange Jell-O. I. Just. Couldn’t. Look. Away.
The Storyline and a Side Note:
Side note: So I don’t remember the names of the wives but let’s call them Mrs. Zeal and Mrs. Satisfied for the purpose of my relaying their stories.
Storyline: Mrs. Zeal is a rather firm believer in affirmations and positive thinking. When I say “firm” I’m talking as “firm” as my 17-year old ass. Mrs. Zeal reads her affirmations every. single. morning. She wakes her children by saying “Be your best Me” and tells them they’re going to have a wonderful day and gushes over how beautiful they are. Mrs. Zeal works out religiously, cares for herself physically, and fixes healthy, organic meals for her family. She claims that she has “manifested” her large home, her husband, and her son and daughter — down to the color of their eyes. Her life is near to perfect.
Mrs. Satisfied, on the other hand, lives in an 800 square foot trailer with her husband and two sons. She appears to be living a life of joy in a tiny space that requires constant interaction amongst the members of her family because, well, frankly, there’s no place else to go. Mrs. Satisfied weighs approximately 300 lbs. and both of her children are classified as “obese” by today’s “Weight Standards for Kids.” Her husband is also overweight, has lost his job and has yet to find another. Both Mr. & Mrs. Satisfied are missing front teeth, and Mrs. Satisfied’s stained and holey clothing is kept in a filing cabinet. Mrs. Satisfied regularly fixes their favorite supper of “Butter Burgers” and chili-cheese fries (or they just head out to the shelter for a free meal a few times a week.) For fun the Satisfieds take the kids fishing for free right off the town bridge. Read More→