There’s a change a brewin’ in me, folks. And… it’s felt about as fluid and graceful as when Jim Carey of Ace Ventura fame was birthed from a large, plastic rhinoceros arse. My facial expressions and utterances are the same. I’m on the lookout for something different; something big. I’m waiting to embrace change as enthusiastically as […]
I have been full of rage lately. Unexplainable-chili-pepper-hot-blown-out-of-proportion anger over trifles. I’m pissed about burnt English Muffin toast. I’m livid over the fact that I unsubscribed from HBO right before season 2 of Game of Thrones began. I’m fuming over abysmally written novels that I’ve wasted half an hour on before I toss them out of my […]
I had an epiphany this morn. Like a choking on a slurp of my Ginger Red tea kind of epiphany. I am Bilbo Baggins. It all started with this There was a study released recently that you are what you read. A scary proposition, eh, and I don’t know about you but I’m not particularly keen […]
Ever heard this line? – “It’s not you, it’s me.” I’ve heard it many times myself. In the past my typical response was usually, “Bullshit, you dick. Grow some balls, coward. I’ll do better. Fucker. Liar. Please don’t go. Bastard. Stay. Asshole. ” These utterances were usually followed by a week or so of tears, […]
I need your guts. Ladies. Gentlemen. I need your gut instincts, your intuition, your introspection on a subject that keeps coming up for me. Soul mates. Fact or fiction? You see, I met a guy about ten years ago. I had no interest in dating at the time. I had just left a ten year marriage […]
So I speak to you in riddles ‘Cause my words get in my way I smoke the whole thing to my head And feel it wash away (1) Words speak and choose make sense and lose capsize the tall tale, but always fail words speak and choose, make sense and lose forfeit the tall tale, […]
I don’t want to freak you out or anything but God has been speaking to me through my fire detector. It’s true. Some people have vivid, colorful dreams of weathered hermits riding royal purple Yaks and wake up feeling inspired and motivated around their life purpose. Others make an omelet and see the face of […]
I have a confession to make and I feel pretty damn vulnerable putting fingers to keys around it. (No, I haven’t been watching The Bachelor.) You ready? I spent almost two decades of my life wishing I were Native American. What’s more is that, for many of those years, I didn’t consciously recognize it. Essentially I […]
I’ve never been more in love. Since I was a tiny tot I’ve been an organizational freak and used to line up all my patent leather Mary Janes with level precision so that I could hide crackers and Halloween treats in them. My shoes are still lined up, though I now keep the crackers in […]
“You know, when I was nineteen, Grandpa took me on a roller coaster. . . Up, down. Up, down. Oh, what a ride! I always wanted to go again. You know, it was just interesting to me that a ride could make me so. . . so frightened. So scared. So sick. So excited and […]
