All signs point to the fact that I’m a helper. A giver. The right-hand. Over the past twenty-five years I’ve taken test after test and read book after book: Myers Briggs, Enneagram, Linda Goodman’s Sun Signs, astrology, the color code, you name it, and continually found that I’m the helper. Hell, I was even born […]
I’m exhausted. And I’ve only been dating online for about three months after taking a three and a half year hiatus from the opposite sex. The rules have changed, ladies. About six months ago I created a profile on one of those online dating sites drizzled with pink hearts and percentages of a match to […]
I’m about to admit something very un-American. I hate politics. I suck at politics. I don’t understand politics. I think this began when I was five and I stood in the hallway of our single wide trailer, clutching my Baby Alive with the wet bum (the Baby Alive, not me), and had severe angst as […]
“Gamble everything for love, if you’re a true human being. If not, leave this gathering. Half-heartedness doesn’t reach into majesty. You set out to find God, but then you keep stopping for long periods at mean-spirited roadhouses.” Rumi You can try to avoid love all you want. You can decide you’re not ready to date […]
There’s a change a brewin’ in me, folks. And… it’s felt about as fluid and graceful as when Jim Carey of Ace Ventura fame was birthed from a large, plastic rhinoceros arse. My facial expressions and utterances are the same. I’m on the lookout for something different; something big. I’m waiting to embrace change as enthusiastically as […]
I have been full of rage lately. Unexplainable-chili-pepper-hot-blown-out-of-proportion anger over trifles. I’m pissed about burnt English Muffin toast. I’m livid over the fact that I unsubscribed from HBO right before season 2 of Game of Thrones began. I’m fuming over abysmally written novels that I’ve wasted half an hour on before I toss them out of my […]
I had an epiphany this morn. Like a choking on a slurp of my Ginger Red tea kind of epiphany. I am Bilbo Baggins. It all started with this There was a study released recently that you are what you read. A scary proposition, eh, and I don’t know about you but I’m not particularly keen […]
Ever heard this line? – “It’s not you, it’s me.” I’ve heard it many times myself. In the past my typical response was usually, “Bullshit, you dick. Grow some balls, coward. I’ll do better. Fucker. Liar. Please don’t go. Bastard. Stay. Asshole. ” These utterances were usually followed by a week or so of tears, […]
I need your guts. Ladies. Gentlemen. I need your gut instincts, your intuition, your introspection on a subject that keeps coming up for me. Soul mates. Fact or fiction? You see, I met a guy about ten years ago. I had no interest in dating at the time. I had just left a ten year marriage […]
So I speak to you in riddles ‘Cause my words get in my way I smoke the whole thing to my head And feel it wash away (1) Words speak and choose make sense and lose capsize the tall tale, but always fail words speak and choose, make sense and lose forfeit the tall tale, […]
