Entries by Melanie Bates

How to Get Married

A while back I was gifted with a psychic reading. I’m always a bit nervous before these calls. What will she tell me? Will her voice get deeper and more mysterious as she says that I am going to choke on a Teddy Graham on a random Tuesday night while watching Glee? My mind goes crazy for […]

“Go West,” Young Heathen

So… I’m heading West in my covered wagon. Okay, fine – it’s a shiny black Beetle convertible, and the soft top keeps the wind out much better than those flaps of old. But those are just semantics. For those who didn’t know. Surprise! My Inner Nomad is ready for a change. I’ve been in Cleveland […]

Painting a Life: A Work in Progress (Or So I Thought)

This is a story about a half-painted bathroom. That might sound really dull, ironically much like watching paint dry, but bear with me because this is also a story of how a half-painted bathroom represented my state of mind. In October 2002 I took a gargantuan leap of faith and left my ten year marriage, packed […]

How To Be Alone

I’m about to get real, folks. Really real. I like to be alone. I’m not simply saying, “I like my alone time.” Nothing puny like that. I’m saying, “I utterly love being alone.” I take a lot of flack for this — from society, from those whom I love, from therapists around the world spouting […]

Auld Lang WHAT? On Friendship

Auld Lang WHAT? Zine? Sign? After a bit ‘o Googly magic I found that the song that has perplexed me for nigh on forty years is an ancient Scottish ditty and, roughly translated, the phrase “Auld Lang Syne” means “times gone by.” Boy do I hear that.  Where has the time gone?  Monica and I […]

Amazon.com Promotes Guide To Pedophilia… Say What?

I’m scared shitless.  I’m about to go First Amendment on you. For years I’ve been writing about ice cream trucks, trips to the salon to regain my Mojo, and my super-pup So-kr8z, but I’ve never tackled something controversial or political. Even writing about the intimate details of my endometriosis just feels personal and safe to me. My dabbles into “politics” […]

Hair… Not the Musical

I wore my hair down the other day; it had been about 8 months since I’d done so.  My classmates at CSU said things like, “Whoa, your hair is really pretty, I didn’t know it was so long.”  Or, “you should wear your hair down more often.”  These were awesome things to hear, and I […]

“Living” with Endometriosis – Part Deux

A more fervent “What. The. F-ck?” has never been uttered. I’ve long held the belief that our physical illnesses are correlated somehow with our mental processes. For years I’ve maintained that Louise L. Hay is right on the money and is a healer way ahead of her time. While I will admit that I do struggle with […]